Here are some tips to keep together time from becoming overwhelming:
- Take care of yourself.
- The tendency during family time is to go along with whatever the group wants to do, but that can be exhausting after a while. Be agreeable, but don't be afraid to maintain your own indivduality - if there's something that you want to do, speak up! If you realize that you're fading fast, slip away for a nap or some rest time. If you want to stick to a special diet, do what it takes to get healthy food, even when everyone else is indulging.
- Along with that, realize that everyone needs a little alone time
- We naturally want to - and sometimes feel obligated to - maximize our time with family when it's available, especially if we're with relatives that we don't get to see very often. However, you can have too much of a good thing. Make some time out for yourself, even if it's just a few extra minutes in the bathroom. Then, when you are with them, you will be more present and focused.
- However, be willing to make some sacrifice.
- These days, family times are fewer and more far between then the good ol' days, so go into it knowing that it's just a brief part of your year, and be willing to be a little uncomfortable at times for the sake of happiness. You might even think of it as a job, rather than relaxation time - you have to work and put effort into it, but there is a great payoff.
- Respect differences.
- Just because you're family doesn't mean that you think alike and act alike. Also, even though you're family, it's still not your place to try to "fix" everyone, and you will only go crazy trying. If your aunt's house has always been messy, don't expect it to suddenly be clean this time - just prepare yourself mentally for what you know is there. Try hard to accept and even embrace differences. You can still love each other just as much.
- Maintain a sense of humor.
- My husband and I have found that our best defense against going nuts during family time is to have a good laugh about it together privately. Finding humor in the situation (or the people) helps you to take things in stride and not become negative. When grandma says something ridiculous, we both just look at each other and smile, knowing that we will relive the moment later, rather than feeling frustrated.
- Talk about memories, but only the good ones.
- Family time can be stressful enough without bringing up bad memories. One of the greatest things about your family members is that they have been there through most of the highlights of your life, so it's fun to reflect on those shared happy times, but there's really no need to bring up the bad and put a damper on the mood.
- Balance the conversations between light and fun, and heavy and serious.
- Face-to-face family time is definitely prime time for having good talks about feelings, goals, life events, etc., but too much of that will overwhelm you. Mix in non-serious conversations to keep the time fun AND productive. You all will be bonded closer when you experience both.
